i need to be more of a trooper

there's what,like 2 weeks left of grad school?
and i can't decided whether or not the fact that there are still two weeks or just two weeks is making me feel icky. i mean, really icky, like the kind that even calm tea can't cure. i have just been feeling really down. really, really down. like, constant urge to weep.
maybe i got stuck in nadine gordimer space this weekend (i plowed through two of her books), maybe i am sad inside that i will be leaving my peeps soon, maybe i have just really had it and don't even want to be here for two more weeks, maybe i am freaked out by the prospect of having to take some time off, maybe it is because my apartment is nearly completely empty and sad looking, maybe i am scared of what lies beyond all of this, maybe i am afraid of iowa
...probably i am all of these things.

i need to get my shi-at together in my head and realize that it will be alright. i'm working on it.