fever breaking

in iowa, nighttime feels like a fever breaking. after enduring 18 hours of steamy, sticky heat, being in the outdoors at around midnight feels like waking up from a feverish sleep to find that the fever is gone. it is one of the few gifts we insomniacs get to enjoy.
it is a shame that we believe so little happens in the dark. it is after the sun goes down that the the racoon that sneaks up to the back deck to eat the remenants of seed the birds have left behind. he crouches beneath the feeder and picks through the grass. he is not picky or wasteful. while they flutter away during the summer to feast on corn and other fresh kernels of grain, the racoon is faithful in his nightly visits during the summer and winter.
we insomniacs also get to experience what it feels like when the dew is formed. we feel it on our skin and see it shimmer on the grass under the glowing moon. we know what it is like the breathe fresh air and not pant or have our sinuses dried out by the airconditioner.
so being an insomniac is not all about infomercials. there is magic involved, too.

i am in transition right now. things are in the pipeline. other things are not. i am not sure what will materialize. but at least i am finally at the point at which i can imagine what it will feel like when the fever breaks.

it has occurred to me

--As I am sure we all feel, the Virginia Tech shootings are terribly disturbing. Why did this international student do this? I wonder if he felt like so much of an outside, so isolated, so depressed as a result, that he snapped. It is sad that we have had so many school shootings in the US in recent history that an amateur news watcher can profile the culprit so easily. And I again get thinking about the question about what this says about our society as a whole. Granted, this has happened other places (like Germany) but not nearly as often. Why is this going on? As it becomes more common, it almost gains validation, in the sense that we are familiar with the feeling of disturbment or mortification or shock. And what does the rest of the world think about our society? (Not that the US seems to care, oops, sorry, stupid question there.)

--Walking past venetian blinds makes me kind of dizzy.

--Talking on your cell phone in public restrooms--how do we feel about it? It kind of bugs me. Is that wrong? Mind you, I said public restrooms. I know, I know, with some people you're just on "that level" that you can talk while you're in the bathroom. But when you do it in public, you're bringing everyone else into the situation.

--Tonight, one of my housemates is cooking "Jack's Surprise." This is the one who does not really know how to cook but is learning through experimentation. And the rest of us are guinea pigs.

--the weather in the Iowhat is AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

another day

it is an overcast, dark morning here in the iowhat. Right now, it is drizzling, but blizzard conditions are expected later. Sweet!

I believe that most of my colleagues are scouring the supply cabinet to find blunt objects with which to end their own lives as they find this weather totally depressing. I, on the other hand, am surprisingly chipper. Perhaps this is due to growing up in a place where it was like this all the time. I told a coworker about my freshman year of college when we had 100 days straight without sun. Now that was a little much, but otherwise, you just drink a lot of coffee and light candles. These are the tools of survival in the Pacific Northwest. It is true, they are not as sexy as those with more extreme weather: snow blowers, plows, rock salt, gravel. Whoah, I am feeling a little woozy thinking about how amazing it must be to operate a snow blower. A snow blower is definitely better than a candle.

I just turned around and looked out the window. The Seattle weather is gone. It is now snowing. Someone told me they are closing the interstate at noon. The Apocalypse of winter, let us hope. It seems like no one is working but rather staring at sattelite images. Seriously, I just walked through the cubes and everyone was looking at the dopplar.

(Note to self: Pills, The Perishers—good song—how did it end up on my iPod? Anyone?)

In many respects, this is like living in a foreign country. The hardest part of living abroad are not the things you notice, but the things you do not notice, or perhaps more accurately, you do not notice and people do not notice that you do not notice. So here I am, a west side kid who has no f-ing clue what the deal with the weather is. like, do people go home early? will they tell me to go home? or will i pop my head out of the cube at noon and find myself totally alone in this huge building because they assumed i would know what to do?

people are starting to leave. the slush is beginning to turn into ice. wtf? i guess i gotta wait.

doppler picture

i see a lot of things in this doppler picture. there's a snake. there is what looks like a primitive map of the united states. there is an arm flexing with a fist. what else? gimme your best shot.

sometimes, you just have to get out…

i do not have a very active social life in iowhat. I have Monday evenings with Rolla, Thursday evenings with Amil, and well, the rest involves sitting in my basement, doing a project, possibly accompanied by some pilsner. This is in large part due to (a) the lack of people to hang out with (b) the people I do hang out with have crazy schedules.
Right now, I am tired. I want to go home and take a nap. But I also have a strong desire to go out, to be wild, oh, to be 25 again. It’s like turning 26 immediately aged me. Reruns of Frasier seem good now. I am starting to feel nostalgia or something. And I use eye crème more and more.

Sorry, I just fell asleep for a second there.

Well, it is probably just the weather. It is actually beginning to rain here, not snow. Amazing, huh? I suppose this is good preparation for my trip to Oregon, which will hopefully take place beginning March 4, but we shall see what the travel gods have in mind.