weither geisha...take it off and be the slutty ho that i know you are inside

weither geisha would, although she is a classy call girl, be stripping down to a halter top and some daisy dukes in this weather. forget the mini-kimono; a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.

last check here at the house: 105 degrees fahrenheit or 41 degrees celcius, otherwise known as really effing hot. so much hotter than fritz has ever been. though namibia is quite hot, it is dry. i cannot deal with the humidity. thank God i was born in the 2oth century--i could not hande life without air con, though i prawly wouldn't have known the difference. no, i probably would have just died. stepping outside for just a few minutes and i want to faint.

i went to a bbq on saturday evening for a bit. my friend MJ from t-town was visiting her bff, but i got to see her too. anyway, we had a nice breakfast in the morning, i went to work, and then after work, joined her at the get-together. i have never been so hot in my life. i said "MJ, why do we ever set foot outside of washington?" anyway, it was great to see MJ--my first connection to the outside world since moving here. today, we had lunch at a greek restaurant. i love greek food, actually mediteranean food of any kind. my digestive system sometimes doesn't like it. i had driven by THE greek restaurant in DSM a couple of times and thought, "ew, not going there." it looks kind of scuzzy from the outside. well, actually, as i found out today, it looks kind of scuzzy from the inside as well. but the food was good and the couple that appears to own the restaurant was very nice. only the flaming cheese (not the proper name) that one of the guests at my table ordered, kind of scared the crap out of me. i almost jumped under the table.

MJ's friends here seem pretty cool. they are very earthy, thrift-store shopping types. i, on the other hand, as much as i would like to be, not that kind of person and i am not even going to try and pretend. and i think corporations, though often very poorly regulated and are ridden with problems such as exorbitant executive compensation, especially in the US, do efficiently produce products EVERY one of us uses and also provide millions of jobs. and my actions reflect my view as well. so i hate being ridiculed for the fact that i have and probably will again work for a multinational. i am not saying i have been directly, but let's just say there were some raised eyebrows. and i realize i still do a lot of corporate type things. like whip out my PDA when getting someone's contact information. right, i could use a scrap of scratch paper and then lose it, or i could use my PDA which requires minimal energy and no paper and not lose your details.

are ya with me?

i was at work at 4:45 am yesterday. i love opening--the shift goes so quickly and then you have a whole afternoon to do whatever you need to. of course, since i am incapable of going to bed before midnight, i usually need to take a nap on these afternoons, which is just a vicious cycle, i realize. but for now, it works. besides, it's too dang hot in the afternoon to do anything. oh, and riding your bike home in 102 degree weather is not so fun.

last night, i also cooked the recipe mentioned in an earlier post. yes, i finally found proschiutto. it turned out well, though i am not sure if it was work all the work. and, i totally forgot that the pan used to brown and then roast the chicken in the oven, had been in the oven (as directed by the recipe) so, when using said pan to cook the brocolli, i totally burned my hand and screamed a bad word right in front of my parents, dropping the pan and dumping all of the oil in it on the kitchen floor. (the burn was not that bad, but it hurt like a mother at first). in the end, though, we had a very nice dinner. everyone was so relaxed and nice to each other. probably because of the wine. but who cares, it was great. we even sat around the dinner table afterwards and talked. i don't remember the last time this happened--we don't even do this on holidays. so yesterday was a pretty damn good day for life in iowa.

isn't it great when you can look back on a day and think, gee, that was a good day.

trying to keep a positive attitude

let's see, i was thinking this evening of all the places i have lived:

hillsboro
salem (2 houses)
keizer
gresham
camas
tacoma (6 different places)
washington, DC (2 different places)
windhoek
berlin (2 different places)
bochum
denver (2 different places)
pretoria
des moines

when you've been around as much as i have, you appreciate the positives and negatives of every place. but you also learn to absolutely love some places and recognize that some cities just plain suck. iowa is neither of those, but it is starting to feel a little on the low end.

it is thus coming time for the second attitude adjustment of the summer. i've gotten a bit off track with the >>relax, reflect, revamp, reorganize<< mission. and that is bad. i need to get on board again, and yes, focus on the real opportunity that this actually is. crap just has been happening this past week that have made it difficult to recognize that or easy to forgot, like people putting you down, household stress, migraines (a great way to spend a day off), and random crappy things (like getting a flat tire at 11 o'clock at night).

i am kind of one of those "i control my world" people and that part of me says i should blow it off, suck it up, and get back on track. c'est la f-ing vie, right? but the other parts of me are frustrated and often ask "why me? haven't i 'learned enough' lessons in the past year? why does crap happen like this?"

i want to wake up tomorrow and be on track again.

a late-night-i-cannot-sleep post

(from vera)
Deserted Island Must-Haves

(Semi-Deserted and Rather Luxurious Island Must-Haves)

So imagine that you are going to be stuck on a deserted island for the rest of your life. Dun dun dunnn! You can bring three things from each of the following catergories. What would you chose to bring?

Books:

1. The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran: A beautiful interpretation of life and its meanings.

2. The Bible: I know that is such a fundamentalist thing to write, but it’s the truth.

3. Africana by Kwame Anthony Appiah and Henry Louis Gates: I could read this book for hours. I don’t think people realize what a diverse history and culture exists on that continent.

Albums/CDs:

1. Life of Rent—Dido (cause i identify with a lot of the songs)

2. The Joshua Tree—U2 (ditto on that Vera)

3. Greatest Hits—Bob Marley (would seem to go well with the whole island thing)

People:

1. Kaka (to bring out the humor in all)

2. LeAnne (to keep things organized)

3. A hot chick (‘nuff said)

Movies:

1. Under the Tuscan Sun—always makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside and have hope that everything will work out.

2. Crash—definitely would remind me that compared to the tensions that exist in the US, the deserted island ain’t so bad.

3. Dr. Zhivago—love its epic quality.

so frustrating

cooking is abut the most interesting thing i do here. so when i cannot get an ingredient, it frustrates the hell out of me. i am trying to cook this. but you know what? it seems that nobody in des moines carries proschiutto. wtf? on my next day off, i am a man on a mission.

i opened this morning, so i left the house at 4:20 am on my bike. interesting, especially since i didn't realize that many of the streets in this semi-rural setting are not lit.

in other news, i have a zit on my chin and it's the kind that hurts. i know, i am a whiner.

more anxiety

so my brother was watching a horror movie last night. i should not have joined him, but i did. i get scared by these things. this one was "the exorcism of emily rose." ok, don't think i am crazy here. when i was on a business trip to namibia once, a friend of mine there invited me to go to church with her, so i did. she went to a charismatic pentecostal church, so i knew i was in for something different, being that i am lutheran and go to a church where we don't clap our hands or raise our hands above our waist. there was much of this at this church, and a whole lot more, including an exorcism of a woman who apparently had 40 demons in her. now, i am not totally sure about the whole demon thing, and whether you believe in it or not doesn't matter. if you have ever seen an exorcism movie, this incident was very much like it in terms of intensity. it was horrible. i was so frightened. ok, i was scared sh!tless. so this movie totally brought back that incident. i was pretty worked up after the movie.
today i just felt tired from being anxious all day yesterday.

HEAVEN

i am practically in heaven right now. weather geisha will tell you it is 66 degrees fahrenheit (19 celcius) and it rained. i just want to sit outside and soak up the coolness.
normally, 66 in the northwest would be shorts weather. seriously.
but since we have been having a heat wave here, it feels cold. and i freaking LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
since last night i have aquired a lot of "good" material for the blog (though, again, it probably sounds better in my head than it will here, though i don't really care because this really is MY space, damnit, ha ha ha)

i have a crumby keyboard

(i think there is a pun in there somewhere, but i am not even going to try. i have been told lately that my delivery on jokes, funny stories, etc. sucks, though it always sounds good in my head. i wish i were as good of a storyteller as kaka. but really, i don't care if people don't like my stories. maybe that will be the litmus test in my future significant other--finding a woman who enjoys my stories and thinks i am funny even though i am really not.
like yesterday at work, people were telling their flight horror stories and i interjected about the time [this is in the jetset days] when i was flying from frankfurt to portland for a quic trip fr my grandparents' 60th wedding anniversary and a woman died on the plane [she was in first class--what a waste of an expensive ticket] so we had to land in reykyavik (sp?), iceland to, um, deboard her. so technically, i have been to iceland which i just thought was kind of random and funny [though also not funny since a lady died]. but the story just didn't go over so well, and i don't think it was because of the whole death thing. maybe it's just not funny.
if you have ever watched the bad cable station TBS, they have these ads now of people calling into their 'funny center' or something like that to verify how funny something is.
maybe i need to do this too. or maybe the delivery sucks.
but really, i don't think i should care. i think it is an important life skill to be able entertain yourself.)

anyway, back to the title of this posting, this is due to the fact that i am eating a cookie. i am having one of those anxiety attacks that comes on for no particular reason. i have the day off, so maybe i am feeling like i don't know what to do with myself, hence the anxiety. i've been doing errands, not really for me, but for other members of the household. i had to pick up something from the decorator (who you will recall decorator fritz clashed with) who, btw, was fired by the mutti, so it was AWKWARD as hell.

but i was having the for-no-apparent-reason anxiety attack before the confrontation with the decorator.

so then i went to this department store called von maur. when you walk in, it looks exactly like nordstrom. even though i like nordstrom, i hate sales people who pressure you. so i walk into this store and no one says anything to me, not even in the shoe department, which is notorious for go getters. still, i had prepared myself for the attack, thus further increasing the anxiety level.
i went to the trendy men's department, which i don't really shop in, because really, i don't need a pair of jeans with the union jack sewn accross the entire @$$. but something i always notice in these trendy somewhat retro look t-shirts trying to look like they're from other countries--it's always italy, spain, brazil, or ireland. you never see one of those t-shirts that has "norway" or "latvia" or "kazakstan" printed on it. what is the obsession with these four countries? let's branch out a little bit, people.

so, what to do. i think i will take a nap.

part of the deal is that i am lonely i think, increasingly. i really miss my friends a lot. A LOT.

but i did book my flight to germany day before yesterday, so i will be reporting to you from there between 25 september and 9 october.

it's what i am holding onto right now.

sigh

i am watching a random movie. these two people are on a date. they are listening to nina simone and drinking wine.
i want to go on a date.

good music

heatherfeather introduced me to antje duvekot, a german-american folk singer, who i think is really amazing. my favourite song is "merry-go round". it speaks to me. not to sound trite or anything. i love this song.

weather geisha

what the weather geisha on my page should be saying (in japanese, of course) is that it is hot as snot and the humidity of the midwest SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
why did we leave the northwest again?
and oh, how i miss the dryness of denver (though I am sure i bitched about it enough while I was there--I was about ready to buy stock in Kiehl's ((though I do not believe it is a publicly traded company)) because i was buying so much product).
anyway.
as i should add at the end of every post, there really is nothing a couple of gin and tonics can't solve. humid weather being one of them.
as i always tell people, the finest result of british colonialism.
which i of course mean somewhat sarcastically.
i wonder if the quinine protects against west nile virus like it does against malaria. i have heard there have been some cases in the great state of iowa this year.
the parents are going to the grant wood museum (of american gothic fame) tomorrow. kinda fun.
btw, vera left probably my favourite comments ever on my last post. thanks sister friend.
oh, and as of today, i am a "certified" barista. whatever that means.

humiliation

so i looked on the shift schedule for work last week. for today, it read "7:45-11:45." great, i thought, i will wake up early and then have the whole day. so i dragged my a$$ out of bed this morning at 6:15, took care of the dog, showered, and hopped on my bike. i got to work, changed, and was actually pretty chipper (for those of you who have seen me in the early morning, which is not many of you for a reason). i am about to sign in when the shift supervisor says "um, fritz, that is supposed to be 7:45 pm to 11:45 pm--you're closing." wtf? everyone just started laughing. i tried to joke along with them. "just kidding," i said. but really (not to sound all 3rd grade) it felt like they were laughing at me and not with me. it's like another nail in my coffin of the corpse of my professional life. okay, that is a little dramatic. anyway, the cocky alpha-males chuckled smugly to themselves as i left. f-ers. i biked home and tried to have a productive day. i helped my mom at the office, took nawa to the vet to get her stitches removed, did some grocery shopping, etc. and this evening, before heading off to my actual shift, i made a pretty awesome dinner: parmasean chicken, spaghetti, and arugula salad (i even grew the arugula myself in a pot on the deck!) it is really nice to cook for my family. especially my mom who i think is the most appreciative, always commenting how nice it is to come home from work and not have to cook. the dinner turned out well, and i was off to work, braving a midwestern thunderstorm which knocked out the power in half the town.
it is never fun to be made fun of. i felt like i was getting kicked when i was already knocked down.

knitting

heatherfeather makes knitting sexy.

a few things

-this is a really good blog post from my blogworld friend, la canadienne (my name for her, she is not even quebecois, btw).
-i dislike lazy people. a lot.
-i miss my denver people.
-i do not enjoy live country music.
-des moines is boring (in case you didn't know).
-my family has been great lately.
-a friend called me today. i was only able to chat for a few minutes because i was on my way somewhere. she commented that i didn't sound stressed out. apparently, i usually did in the past. i guess that is a good sign.
-i was sitting in starbucks today in a comfy velour chair with a caramel machiatto listening to "hear" music. for a second (granted, just a second) i felt like i was back in seattle. *tear*
-this time is a gift. but then, every time is a gift.
-my colleagues think i am entertaining. in some ways, i think this is endearing. on the other hand, i just think they would think i was boring if they met my other friends. kaka, for example, tells way better stories and is much more entertaining.
-said colleagues and i do not always (read often) share the same sense of dry humor. possible future cause of schisms at work.
-my knees hurt.

dirka dirka dirka

that's Team American talk for "I'm 4th of July-ed Out!" Just a little. I think my mom just overdid the decorations a little bit. In all seriousness, I am glad to have the freedoms and protections afforded to me as a citizen of the US, though I often worry that these are being threatened and not afforded equally.
This is my first Independence Day in the US for awhile. My last one was three years ago and I was in Tacoma, WA housesitting for someone with a view over Puget Sound, so I had the perfect view of fireworks all the way from there to Seattle. It was fantastic.
Selling fireworks in stores is illegal in Iowa. Apparently, in 1931 a kid in a small town in Iowa set off a huge table full of fireworks and ended up burning down the entire downtown of this small hamlet. It was only in the 1960s that sparklers were allowed. People drive down to Missouri and buy fireworks there, but I guess that they set up roadblocks and stuff to catch people. The upside of this is that there are tons of public fireworks displays on and around the holiday. It's pretty cool, since Iowa is so flat, you can see all of them. but it makes for loud evenings and nawa gets scared.
anyway, happy fourth of july!
(i am finishing celebrations by watching Team America: World Police)

i had a REALLY weird dream

so i had this dream a couple of nights ago which was SOOOOO WEIRD!!!!!!!!!!!! in it, i had knocked up a close friend of mine, even though in my recolection, we have, uh, never done the deed, and according to my calendar, we not even on the same continent during which the said deed would have been done. turns out, she had twins, and was preggers and didn't even know it. and she joined the peace corps and had the kids in rural africa. i got a call from her informing me of this and also that one of the kids was born with malformaties (is that a word?)
anyway, i don't know where that came from. but i do know that for the past few weeks i have been having incredibly vivid dreams with this kind of weird stuff. and said dreams are so vivid, that i wake up in the morning often having to sort out reality.
does this make sense?
am i alone?
am i really crazy now?

another movie review

so this afternoon i went and saw "the devil wears prada" with mutti. i liked the movie a lot. but, i was disappointed with the ending, because the woman ditches her career for her friends who are not supportive of her career. ok, before you thing "amischwab is such a cuthroat jerk!" hear me out.
life requires balance, especially when you are starting out in your career. there are sacrifices we all have to make in order to get to a place where we want to be professionally. and this often involves working late, working weekends, etc. and sometimes, things come up. i've experienced this first hand when i have friends who i would love to spend more time with, but i cannot because of work-related things. like when LJ came and visited me in Berlin II and i had to work, she supported me and occupied herself for the day, knowing we had a weekend of fun ahead.
a lot of people, when they finished their first degree, seem to get jobs that are strictly 9-5 and can then have dinner with friend and get shit-faced every night or whatever. but there are some of us who end up doing something we (a) really love or (b) need to do to get to the next level. and said other people don't seem to understand this and think you are being a bad friend because you can't see them every night or whatever.
granted, the situation in the movie was a bit extreme since anne hathaway was working for the devil, but i have found myself in similar situations. anyone who knows me in 3D knows that my friends are very important to me. and one of the reasons is that we really support each other in things that are important to us.
in my view, if you care about someone, you should support them. of course, there are limits. if someone always blows you off for their job, well, i suggest you find new friends. but people who expect you to get off the clock at 5 every night to socialize, well, i am sorry. i can make it by 8, but what i do professionally is a large part of my identity. and i hope you would support that.
OMG, do i sound like a corporate-ladder-climbing ass? no, i just mean, we have to understand that we have to be flexible and supportive of the people we care about.
if we do turn into another "to do" on the ol' outlook opening screen, there is a problem. but otherwise, if you care about someone and recognize that them being fulfilled in their professional calling is important, you can be flexible.
this is one movie where i didn't want the girl to get the guy. sorry if that makes me have a heart of stone.