ramblings

so, apparently it is a rule on Pierce Transit that you are not allowed to take a shower for at least three days before getting on the bus. i know, this sounds mean, since i am sure many of those bodies who fill the bus with an amazing aroma belong to people who do not have homes, but for some reason lately, it has been getting worse and worse. i literally have to hold my scarf up to my face in order to block the fumes, else i'd probably end up hurling in the bus. it is that bad. it smells worse than MARTA in atlanta. alas, a side effect of my chosen carless existence. i am beginning to reconsider, not that i have a lot of options right now.

anyway, it has been awhile since i have written here, and i really should more often. i am still working in seattle and find myself growing increasingly frustrated with a variety of projects going on there. really, i'd love to be doing something a little more innovative rather than just solving a bunch of f-ups all of the time. true, this also requires creativity, but i was to be INNOVATIVE. this gig ends at the end of february, so i continue to seek permanent positions or long-term contractor positions, though those are not really ideal since there are no benefits, and what i'd give to go to the doctor (especially the dentist or eye doctor right now) or have a sick day that didn't cost me money. for some reason, i have been sick often this winter. nothing horrible, but enough that i do not want to go into work. it has been frustrating.

i honestly still do not feel adjusted to being here and (again) honestly, i do not find myself wildly happy to be here. i can recognize certain ways in which i am growing and certain areas i am able to make a difference as well, but something is missing, i am not sure what, and that is frustrating.

i didn't realize this fully, i think, until last week when kaka and i had lunch. she is still on maternity leave, so was able to come down my way and meet me. sadie was along of course, and she is sooo adorable. kaka let me push the stroller for awhile, which for some reason was soothing. kind of weird, i s'pose. anyway, a simple "so how are things going?" kind of snowballed into me realizing there are some things that i currently am not very happy with. at the same time, it is difficult for me to (a) pinpoint precisely what those things are (b) be certain that those are the things that are actually making me unhappy. hopefully this is not so vague that it does not make sense.

do i need a new hobby? do i need more friends? do i need to live somewhere else? do i need a girlfriend? do i need a plant?

you get the idea. maybe.

more on this later.

a new year

thankfully, 2007 is over. it was a rough year. yesterday, i was going over all of the different scenarios i explored during the past year: the possibility of moving to kansas city, chicago, germany...north dakota for goodness sake. it was rough...but i grew a lot, which i am also grateful for.
2008 is full of possibilities--that is what i am trying to focus on. since coming back to washington after being in iowa, i am homesick for my family. a lot. it's hard to deal with right now.

the not so glamorous jet-set: tribute to denver

when i used to advise students and they would tell me that the wanted a job in which they could travel, i always used to say "really--are you sure?" travel is fun when you don't have to, not so much fun when you must. and denver always causes me problems in this department.
examples? hmmm, finding my car buried in 4 feet of snow from the snow plow after returning from a conference; getting stood up by rides (multiple times), being forgotten on thanksgiving one year. yeah, love it.
christmas in the iowhat was great, but getting "home" to tacoma was not so much. thank you, denver, for having a snow storm on christmas day. really, i appreciated the four hour delay this caused for the sake of your white christmas. i appreciated the opportunity to hang out with annoying people from nebraska who talked too much. i appreciated arriving at seatac in the middle of the night to get stuck with a shuttle driver who reminded me of an old bad santa. i appreciate how your little weather tricks made getting through the work day such a slog.
once again, denver, you have disappointed me.
you are beginning to make o'hare look good. never thought i would say that.

so its been awhile

heatherfeather wrote a long overdue post, so i thought i'd do the same.
right now, i am in the iowhat. don't worry, it's only for a few days over christmas. it was strange being back at first. i had that same feeling when i moved here before, that is, the feeling that i was yelling at everyone when i talked to them. i guess we are just a lot more straight-forward on "the coasts" as they call it here.
it is really nice to be with the fam i.e. my former housemates. everyone is just happy (though mutti and i are sick with colds) and there is not really any stress, which is such a change from three months ago. i am really glad i moved to washington.
my trip back here was fine, except for having to get up at 2 am and leave at 2:30 am and then when i got to SeaTac, there was a line out the door (at 4 am--really?!) so i was a little concerned, but i made the flight and the next one (yeah, i know, shocker, no direct flights between seattle and dez moinayz).
i saw neener at le continental on thursday night where toddler was tending the bar. it was nice to get a big hug from both of them.
friday was family day. costco, barnes and noble, target..fun times. i hung out with amil friday night which was good.
i kinda miss mj and jillywog.
it was nice to just hang out today. soooo nice.
work is going well. my contract has been extended through the end of february. so i have time to find something permanent while making decent money. and there could be something permanent at the major coffee company, so we will see.
i actually was offered a permanent position with an international PR company. i turned it down. that may sound stupid, but it would have been a HUGE pay cut, even way out of the range i was looking for. and they were not willing to negotiate on anything, so that sent major signals about the company. it was kind of a leap of faith, but it felt so wrong.
so i keep applying for jobs, but i am in such a better place. and i know things are going to work out.
btw, i want an iPhone. blah.
randomness--mutti got a gift-wrapped juicy couture purse from nordstrom today. she did not order it and she called her bff to ask if it was from her and it was not. so, my mother got a random $300 christmas present. weird!

thanksgiving + weekend

i had thanksgiving dinner with kaka, frik, their new baby, Sadie, kaka's parents and aunt, uncle, and their daughters in seattle. it was the first time i got to see Sadie, and as you can see she is precious!

i had to work on friday, but today, MJ, her brother david and i went and got a christmas tree.

i didn't actually cut down the tree. i let MJ do that--she is into those things. besides, i didn't really want to get muddy today. just not in the mood.

now the christmas season can begin (although in the large coffee company world, it began a couple of weeks ago).

new job

so i got a job.
as is very often the case in today's business, i am initially on a two-month contract and if i perform well, i will be hired on permanently. i will be a project management type doing process-engineering. i am not really sure what that means either, but i am good at designing processes and i am sure i will find out tomorrow what all of this entails. i am kind of nervous, especially about the long commute to seattle. right now, i am just so thankful to have a decent paying job that has the potential to lead to other things. it is disappointing that this position doesn't really have an international focus, but if i get my foot in the door, it can lead to bigger and better things.
the lack of international component really scares me the most. working with people and other entities from abroad is so core to my identity and it has always been an element of all of my jobs to this point (well, except in the iowhat). so i wonder how i will keep that alive.

socially things are pretty good. on friday night, the roomies and i went and saw the U2 tribute band some of our friends play in. these shows are always like mini-reunions, which is kind of fun, but iffy at times, because there are certain people you don't really feel like seeing.

(i just saw a commercial with an orange vaccuum cleaner--i SOOO want one!)

on saturday, i had lunch with kaka and frik and some of there friends up in seattle, which was a lot of fun. it was good to meet some new people.
i do look forward to expanding my circle through working in seattle. we will see how that goes.

(another aside--pizza elmo? i think talking/singing pizzas are creepy)

today i mixed it up and went to church with MJ. and the afternoon has been filled with ironing and a lifetime movie. these are the good old days.

so, this is what's going on...

...not that anyone will read this, but here goes:

i have been in the puget sound area for about six weeks. it has been overall really good. there have definitely been rough patches when i wonder if things will work out here, how i will afford groceries, if i will succeed in life in general, etc. but right now, i feel really good about this decision and yes, i have found myself saying during the past few days: why didn't i do this a long time ago?

so what's going well?

1) i am having way more interviews. unlike in the iowhat, where i did not have a single interview (they were mostly in chicago), i have been having interviews on a regular basis and getting back in the groove of things. my confidence is way up.

2) i have a great community of friends that is really growing.

3) i have been provided for in miraculous ways, from a bed to sleep on to groceries. i am staying with my wonderful friends mj and jillywog. people joke we are like three's company. i have a temp job where jillywog's sister, karebear works, so i can get the basic bills paid.

4) i got to see my mom this past weekend. she's at a conference in seattle.

5) love the ocean, love the mountains.

6) i feel like myself again.