a snob from the start

my parents recently returned to oregon to assist my grandparents with their move into "the home" and came home with a lot of pictures.
this is my favorite--already a snob at 4, living in a lime-green parsonage.
sigh.

hello

1. FIRST NAME? Fritz (not Ami, contrary to popular belief)
2. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? My Grandpa
3. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY? August
4. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? Usually
5. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCHMEAT? Cheese
6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? I would probably get on my nerves.
7. DO YOU HAVE A JOURNAL? Yes. I ignore it a lot, though.
8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? I believe so.
9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? Uh, no.
10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? Toss up between Honeycombs and Cinnamon Toast Crunch
11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? If by untying you mean undoing the velcro, no.
12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? I think we all have our strengths and weaknesses (God, that is so Oprah)
13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR? Cookies and Cream
14. SHOE SIZE? 10.5 or 11, depending on the brand.
5. RED OR PINK? Red.
16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? My ass.
17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? Nawa.
18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU? Uh, I am not holding my breath.
19. WHAT COLOR PANTS, SHIRT AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? Gray, blue, brown.
20. LAST THING YOU ATE? Caesar salad.
21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? Fleetwood Mac.
22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? Hmm.
23. FAVORITE SMELL? Yves Saint Laurent Body Couros.
24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? The lady who cuts my hair.
25. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE YOU ARE ATTRACTED TO? Eyes.
26. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON you stole THIS from? She’s alright. Jk, love her.
27. FAVORITE DRINK? Tripple espresso macchiato with three raw sugars and extra foam. But I am not particular.
28. FAVORITE SPORT? Tennis.
29. EYE COLOR? Blue gray.
30. HAT SIZE? Not sure, but it is big.
31. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? Usually.
32. FAVORITE FOOD? Indian and German.
33. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? Happy endings.
35. SUMMER OR WINTER? Winter in South Africa, Spring in Colorado, Summer in Germany, Fall in Iowa.
36. HUGS OR KISSES? Uh, both, maybe.
37. FAVORITE DESSERT? Crème brulee.
38. WHO IS MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? No one.
39. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? No one.
40. WHAT BOOKS ARE YOU READING? The history of the Amano Colonies.
41. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE Pad? This question is so 1996.
42. WHAT DID YOU WATCH LAST NIGHT ON TV? Under the Tuscan Sun on DVD (again)
43. FAVORITE SOUNDS? Music, wind, the ocean.
44. ROLLING STONE OR BEATLES? The Beattles.
45. THE FURTHEST YOU'VE BEEN FROM HOME? South Africa.
46. WHAT'S YOUR SPECIAL TALENT? I can roll my tongue.
47. WHERE WERE YOU BORN? Oregon.
48. WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? No one, just stole it from hf.

stupid internet etc.

so the internet in iowhat pisses me off. there are so-called outages all the frieken' time--when it is windy, when it is overcast, when the tech guy takes a bathroom break. whatever. this makes life difficult at times.

for example, when you are in Iowa: Phase II and are trying to apply for real jobs and the signal cuts out.

but i did manage to write a cover letter today of which i fell very good about.

i am kind of sensitive about cover letters since for a period of about a year and a half, part of my job was reading cover letters, ripping them apart and making them better.

i felt good about this one because i was able to express (in german, sorry, would share but i fear it would be a little lost on my mostly canadian audience) in a confident yet not cocky way what i can do and what i want to do for the company. it has been a long time since i felt like i was able to do this and i wasn't really sure why until today.

a few years back, i was part of an organization that i really cared about. i wanted to make a difference there. at the same time, i did not fit the ideal of this organization in terms of my background. but because i cared about the mission and future of the organization, i sucked it up and tried to fit in. i became diminuitive to those in power--if i didn't fit the ideal, at least i could play their game. in the end, i was able to accomplish what i wanted to, but at the same time, i had suppressed a lot of the important parts of who i am. when i left the organization, this continued for a few years still. i believe part of the reason the last few years have been so rough is because i had this leftover "shit shoveler" attitude.

having recognized this, and in large part due to the support of my dad, i have been reborn in a sense. i recognize that i am who i am, if you don't like it, i am sorry, but i am not going to change for you.

while this is a positive realization, it also means that sometimes if you do care about an organization or a mission or a community and you don't fit their ideal in whatever way, you just have to move on and get over it.

unfortunately, since i have returned from germany, i believe this is the case with iowhat. although it is small and options are limitted in a variety of areas and there is a lack of diversity, it is kind of nice. at the same time, i am constantly reminded that i am not from here and i will never fully be accepted because my background and personality just don't quite work here, at least not right now.

part of me finds this sad. at the same time, i also look at it as a sign that yes, amischwab will need to leave here at the end of the year as planned because he cannot fully thrive here, though he admires the people, the lifestyle and landscape, and the values commonly found in this place.

it's a tough realization, but it is important and it keeps me on track.

slight post-vacation shock etc.

so i didn't keep super good track of my spending during my vacation. i mean, in my head i did, but then, that has gotten me into trouble in the past. turns out according to the good ol' ATM statement, i spent a little more money that i expected. nothing too tragic, and it was of course all stuff i needed, like, er, uh, trendy euro pointy black boots, and a Barbour quilted riding jacket.
got back very late monday night due to a flight attendant deciding not to show up to work in chicago. huh. worked at 8 am on tuesday, which was fine. in germany, i used to fly in at 5 or 6 am, drop my stuff off and take a shower, and go to work at 8, so hi, i am a pro. like i used to tell my students, the jet-set is not a glamorous as it appears.
october is going to be a very busy and intense month, so stay tuned.
LJ comes to iowhat tomorrow and i get to see her friday and sunday (those were the blocks of time i was alloted). v. excited.
it's kinda cold. for me that is. having grown up in the pacific northwest, extreme hot and cold are new things to me.

an almost perfect trip

I have had such a positive attitude during this entire trip. I didn’t get annoyed with elderly American tourists in London. I didn’t mind having to stand for an hour in a overcrowded train on my way back to Frankfurt on Sunday (always a busy travel day in Germany—all the single men are going back to work after having been home to have their mother wash their underwear.) I didn’t snap at the ticket agent in Frankfurt when he scolded me for not being at the airport early enough to stand in line for a full hour just to drop off my bag. I kept my cool when once again, I was sent to the agriculture line in customs even though, as far as I can tell, I don’t look like a farmer in this outfit and was not on a farm during my trip.

But when the TSA agent made me throw away my tube of Kiehl’s Ultimate Strength Hand Salve because it was over 4 ounces, I really wanted to break down and cry. The poor little bottle even made it through London.

And I just paid off my Neiman Marcus bill.

Oh well.

Otherwise, no complaints about how this trip went.

mannheim steamroller

amischwab celebrates being partly german.

chillin' like a villain, per usual.
christian busts a move. oh, how fun it is to watch the germs dance.
yo.two bad ass friends. awwww yeeeeaaah. holla.

did you know that the cheesy christmas music group that we all love actually has nothing to do with the city mannheim?

after my pitiful post the other day, i decided to ditch frankfurt and go to mannheim a day early to hang out with christian. turns out no one died as i had thought. it was a good decision in any case. we have been catching up which was been great. although i was just here in november, as you all know, SO MUCH has happened. not to be melodramatic, but it is actually overwhelming to think about it. we have all had such times in out lives i believe.
in any case, we went to an international party last night (see above). i was a bit apprehensive since strobe lights have triggered pre-seizure symptoms for me in the past. but it was fine. it was "german night" so we got to dance to cheesey german pop songs we used to love in high school as well as stuff like nena of 99 luftballoons fame. good times.

a few photos

here we (kerstin, helger, amischwab) at the monastery after a strenuous hike. ok, it wasn't strenuous really, but i have to think of some excuse to have drank that beer.

kerstin and helger: frisch verheiratet (just married). the wedding was beautiful.

ah, the reception. good food, good franconian wine. no, i am not sloshed in this picture, it was actually really damn hot in the reception hall and germans don't like breezes, so we had to keep the windows closed. well, and a lot of the women were wearing spaghetti straps even though there was quite a storm brewing so they were cold.

more pics to come--prolly on flickr.

india

.arie that is. i had a weird dream last night. i was here in germany and got a call on my mobile from india.arie, one of my favorite artists. she was like, "Fritz! i heard you are going to be in South Africa on Saturday!" apparently in the dream, i was going to be. she was like "Me too! We will have to get together!" end of dream.
huh?
in another dream i had, some german lady came up to me and was like "uh, yeah, those t-shirts you wear make you look fat." also, end of dream.
i think the pills are making me having nutty dreams. or maybe i am just nutty.
the latter is probably more likely the case.

rainy vacation days

i'm in germany and it is raining, which is nothing exceptional, except you have to ask yourself why you chose this place for vacation and not, uh, mexico or something. oh yeah, i wanted to see my friends. the wedding was great (pictures to come) and i had a really nice time with kerstin and helger. i then went off to frankfurt (where I am now) to have some "fritz time" and do a bit of shopping (there are those things you can only get in germany, or at least not in iowa).
perhaps it is the weather, perhaps it is that the first half of my vacation is gone, or everything that is going on at home, but i am feeling kind of melancholy today. i dunno.
just saying hi.