two amazing Christmas presents

as you get older, Christmas loses its childhood magic. there aren't the same kind of surprises as when we were children--we pretty much know what we can expect under the tree.
i've been fortunate the last few days to receive some surprise gifts, though.
a blizzard in colorado nearly shut down the airport in denver so two friends of mine from there who were on their way to the midwest for christmas decided to drive and, as the mainstreet of america, I-80 took them through des moines, so I got to spend about a half hour with them yesterday evening. it was significant for me, because it reminded me of how i was there before all of this crap started. yes, i was stressed and overworked and overextended, but i was positive. mk and chris reminded me of the positive person i was.
and then i finally got an e-mail from ferpan in namibia. the subject line was "believe in the god of impossibilities." whether you are a person of faith or not, you can understand perhaps what this means to me. life seems impossible right now. but i just have to believe.
so whatever you're celebrating right now, remember, believe.

sick of waiting

i am tired of waiting. for everything. i feel like i have been waiting for about six months. i am impatient.
right now, i am tired of waiting for internet orders. since i live in the middle of nowhere, i order a lot of stuff from the internet. and apparently, iowa is not a real high priority in the shipping/logistics industry. and i am waiting for an excessively expensive item that i do not need, but decided to buy myself for christmas. but this is not about this item.
i am sick of waiting.
how do you be patient?

une question...

what happened to gueggs? why do i get some website advertising "animal hoarding" when I try to access his blog? i am so confused.

paying it forward

so in my joke of a job, i usually work the drive thru because (a) i am fast (b) i can multitask (c) (deleted because it was mean)
we have a particular customer who regularly will come to the window and ask to pay for the car behind him. this is really nice, but it insinuates the disaster. due to the way our computer system works, it just really screws things up in a technical manner, and then it spurs a wave of other people wanting to do the same. in a way, this is nice, but on the other hand, i feel they have missed the point. you see, instead of paying it forward, they are simply paying it back. not exactly, because it is possible they could end up spending a lot more or less, but figuratively, yes. it's a case of, "i am only doing this for you as a payback for something i got."
this is not what giving it about. giving, true giving, is not a response to having received something. true giving occurs when we have nothing and when we are not somehow obligated. this is why gifts are so treasured.
alas, this is planet earth. so things work a certain way. let's think outside the drive thru lane, though. the lesson people should learn is to pay it forward. so when your order gets picked up by someone else, don't try and pay it back. find another opportunity to pay it forward.
i guarantee you, there are many such opportunities to go beyond yourself, to go beyond the drive thru lane.

i agree...

...with vera. tagged schmagged. but i will obey her orders and do this thing.
"According to the rules, each player of this game starts with the title "Six Weird Things About Me." People who get tagged need to write a blog of their own six weird things and state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose six people to be tagged and list their names. Don't forget to leave a comment that says, 'You are tagged!' in their comments and tell them to read your blog!"

Here are six weird things about me that you might not know:

1. i was almost killed by an elephant.
2. i really try not to step on cracks in pavement.
3. chocolate is good, but i never crave it.
4. i am a neat freak about everything else, but my room is never clean.
5. the only way i will eat eggs is if they are scrambled.
6. i rarely like what i cook.

ok, do this if you have weirder things to say. which i can almost guarantee you do.

by jeeves, i've found it!

While Vera's suggestion of "International Jet-Setter meets Corn-fed Hulking Stud meets Devilishy Clever Mensa Member" is quite good, this is the line I am inserting into my cover letter when applying for agribusiness jobs.

"Additionally, though not reflected in my professional experience thus far, I have a strong background in agriculture having been involved in farm operations in the Willamette Valley, Oregon for a significant part of my life."

You like?

new series--quotes #1

so in the process of sorting through my crap, i separated out all those quotes that i have collected over the years that meant something to me at one time or another. some knock me off my feet, some just kind of make me say, "Oh yeah." i am starting with a simple one. it's on a little card someone gave me:

"you choose which party to attend"

I am young, but I am already tired of doing things socially just to be correct. if i don't want to do something socially, i'm not going to waste my time or money.
it's the holidays, so there are lots of gatherings.
this year, though, i'm not going to be just polite. i would honestly like it more to spend time with my family or do nothing at all, rather than having to put on a fake smile for three hours.

i suggest you do the same. life is too short.

i quit

i ditched the seasonal job. gotta love the concept of employment at will. after five days of 15 hours of retail, i thought i was going to lose it. so i quit. the money was not worth the fact that i had zero time to look for that pesky little real job.
so i spent the day on the couch, except for two trips to the bux to indulge secretly in cranberry bliss bars and then to meet AM because we made a random unplanned target run. pretty exciting day.
caught up on some phone calls this evening.
i don't emote very well. i have been really upset about my career lately. and when i get upset, i close up. i should work on this.
i am hoping to really enjoy this holiday season. sh!t, that was a stupid politically correct sentence.
I AM HOPING TO ENJOY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this is something i have not been able i have not been able to do for about 5 years due to illness in the family, crazy stupid jobs, etc. so let's live it up.
starting to think about new year's eve. i would like to do something where i could wear a velvet blazer. hmmm.